Are You An “Active” Listener?

By Dr. Madelyn Fernstrom

You might have read about the recent passing of Stephen Covey, the best-selling business author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. His advice continues to help millions of people in the workplace, and I always remember a particular insight, which I’d like to share with you.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.”

I find this quote meaningful not only in the workplace, but in my personal life as well. Being an active listener is a much more effective strategy of interacting with everyone. While we are all multitasking in so many areas, it’s important to develop (and sustain) the mental focus to really listen when people are talking to you. It doesn’t mean you politely listen for hours on end – but it does mean that you understand what the person is saying, ask for clarification if you need it, and that you respond accordingly. In the long run, it’s a major timesaver and supports positive and productive social interactions.

We’ve all been charged with the phrase, “You’re not listening to me.” What that phrase means, of course, is that you don’t understand what is being said. Instead of blowing off that comment with “Yes, I AM listening!” (sound familiar?), try to mentally connect with what the other person is saying, and ask for more information if you don’t understand. That’s active listening.

This small behavior change really works. I hope you’ll give it a try!